How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out and then you cut the string...

The beginning of a good song... is so descriptive to my life. Why do I fall in love with impossible people? Why can't I keep it in my pants? Why can't I remember what it feels like.. to be in love, and loved back the same? Have I ever really known?

My head hurts contemplating these. I feel so numb and empty. It's the static, too many thoughts to discern, so they all jumble together into nothing.

I will most likely have an opportunity to make another big mistake this weekend. I'm half in half out. On one hand, it would be a truly no strings attached incident, and on the other hand I feel like I don't want to be with anyone else but him. But he doesn't want me. Not that I blame him... Story of my life. /emo