what's going on inside of me....
so i've been having the weirdest dreams about any variety of topics. lately its been smoking. why would i smoke? and when i dream about it its the most natural thing, like ive been doing it all along, and last night there were rows of green cars... ive had multiple dreams about family members dying. isabelle, dad... i dont know, its pretty crazy. and not only the fact that they're dead, but that everybody else acted so strangely, and that i seemed to be the only one who grasped the gravity of the situation.
what do dreams tell you about yourself? are they windows into a realm of your being that you don't have access to? they are imagined experiences and surreal fantasies that are part of you some how... they tell you who you are, but in a different language you dont understand. they tell you the meaning of your life in garbled words and images that make no sense to you. so to say that your purpose can be found inside you is truth. what you've been searching for is at the source, right there, within your reach but you dont have the means to retrieve it. its too confusing to understand. so really, dreams are about reality, though they seem so far from it sometimes. they twist reality into something you wouldnt dare to think of. this reality is one created by you, by closing your eyes and painting in the darkness, and when you open them you're frightened by the results. reality and fantasy alike are confusing. trying to decipher them is our purpose. its why we keep going.
i dont know myself. but yet i do. i know myself enough to dream things that will frighten and confuse me. but its like i dont have access to that part of who i am. the part that knows myself. in all this confusion and darkness that im living in, i'm ever evolving. my dreams tell me who i am and who i will become. i should just listen to them.
