1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice
about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours
left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
8.16.2007
8.15.2007
What I think about sometimes
58 girl confessions
1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? yes.
2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress? I'm not much for short stuff... but there are few occasions when I would get to wear a big poofy dress :( It depends, I suppose.
3. What would you do if you received a long love letter? I'd probably be grinning stupidly while reading it.
4. Group dates or single dates? I've never really dated, but I would enjoy both, I think.
5. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends? I hate it when guys act one way around me, and completely different to everyone else. Or when they treat me different when in the company of others. *annoying* Why can't you just be yourself, no matter what that is?
6. Are diamonds a girl's best friend? Not mine. Nice, but unnecessary.
7. Is your hair up or down today? French braids!
8. Do you straighten your hair? Sometimes, but usually I'm just lazy.
9. Favorite mascara? Eh, my Avon stuff works fine. I don't use it enough to care.
10. Do you get your nails done? Sometimes when they grown out :D
11. Small or large purses? My purse isn't too big, but I am constantly amazed at the amount of stuff I can shove in there :P
12. In your purse, what are your must haves? Pain killers, wallet, keys, phone (if it's not in my pocket), lip stuff (carmex usually) and mints.
13. Jeans or skirts? Mostly jeans.
14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable? Hell no. On very rare occasion, but even when I dress up I want to be comfortable.
15. Do you text message a lot? Not really.
16. What would you do if you got pregnant? I'd be very confused, haha.
17. Whats your favorite color? The color of the sky about a half hour after sunset. That shifty gray that's almost every color at once... it's beautiful.
18. Heels or flats? Flats. I don't need to be any taller.
19. What's your favorite song? Ooh, so many. But right now it's "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's.
20. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on? Just about every day of my life!
21. Walmart or Target? Eh, I figure they're both corporate giants that use outsourcing and don't treat their employees very well, but I unfortunately still shop at both (minimally, if possible). Target more so, though.
22. Do you wear shirts with colors? yep.
23. Do you like preppy boys? Not really my type. But I could still get along with some as friends.
24. Do you think lip gloss is the best? Carmex, all the way. Or Burt's Bees. However, my Victoria's Secret lip gloss is pretty awesome.
25. Do you own any big sunglasses? Haha, yes. Never thought I would, but they're so ridiculous, they're wonderful!
26. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? About an hour, if I'm slow and eat breakfast. About 20 minutes if I'm rushed. *But* I have been known to get ready in 5. :P
27. Do you like to wear bandaids? Not really...
28. Do you like skater boys? Some, I'm sure... I try not to generalize.
29. Do you often wish there was something you could change? About... the world? My life? My body? Yes.
30. Gold or silver? Silver. Not too fond of gold.
31. Do you like to receive flowers? Never have, but I would love it, yes.
32. Do you like surfer boys? Haha, are we going through all the stereotypical boys? Silly surfer boys, haven't seen many.
33. Do you dress up for the holidays? Not so much.
34. Do you like to wear dresses? Yeah, never have a reason to though.
35. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you? I'd say about a 5.
36. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy? ..... Yes! I think... Sean was at our place Monday night...
37. Would you date a guy shorter than you? Oh, how funny. Yes I would... but I'd prefer not to.
38 Do you like to hold hands? Of course.
39. What is the youngest age in a guy you would date? No high school boys. I'd almost say no college boys either, but that just doesn't seem fair :P
40. What is the oldest you would date? In the 30's, I guess, if he was really right for me.
41. whats the first thing you notice about a guy? His face. Always a favorite.
42. Is it hot when guys sweat? Eh... *hot* physically, duh! But hot? Not really.
43. What is the best personality feature in a boy? Sense of humor. Ability to let stuff go. Supportive.
44. Do you like making eye contact? Sure... It doesn't bother me.
46. Would you kill for chocolate? But why? There's plenty of chocolate in the world!!
47. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy? Not yet.
48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping? About a 2 when it takes too long, nothing fits, I have limited monies and/or lines are super long. But if not, then 10!
49. Do you freak out if you miss your favorite shows?I don't care enough to freak out about most things.
50. Do you yell a lot? At myself, maybe. But never at other people.
51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work? Ah, no. Just seems out of place.
52. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy? Not really. I've always held the stance that if he doesn't like what he sees when I'm being me, then there's no use trying to convince him to like what I'm not.
53. Do you write a lot of mushy love poems? I have in the past, but no more. Emo teenager days are over, my friends!
54.One make up item you cant live without? Um, none.
55. Do you fall in love easily? Depends on who it is. If he's the one for you, it'll be easy to fall for him. If not, it's hard. Pretty simple, really.
56. Do you have cramps? Only once a month. >.<
57. Do you think you have the best friends ever? Oh yes, I love them.
58. Do you consider yourself pretty? I don't really care either way. But I hope I am.
1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? yes.
2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress? I'm not much for short stuff... but there are few occasions when I would get to wear a big poofy dress :( It depends, I suppose.
3. What would you do if you received a long love letter? I'd probably be grinning stupidly while reading it.
4. Group dates or single dates? I've never really dated, but I would enjoy both, I think.
5. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends? I hate it when guys act one way around me, and completely different to everyone else. Or when they treat me different when in the company of others. *annoying* Why can't you just be yourself, no matter what that is?
6. Are diamonds a girl's best friend? Not mine. Nice, but unnecessary.
7. Is your hair up or down today? French braids!
8. Do you straighten your hair? Sometimes, but usually I'm just lazy.
9. Favorite mascara? Eh, my Avon stuff works fine. I don't use it enough to care.
10. Do you get your nails done? Sometimes when they grown out :D
11. Small or large purses? My purse isn't too big, but I am constantly amazed at the amount of stuff I can shove in there :P
12. In your purse, what are your must haves? Pain killers, wallet, keys, phone (if it's not in my pocket), lip stuff (carmex usually) and mints.
13. Jeans or skirts? Mostly jeans.
14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable? Hell no. On very rare occasion, but even when I dress up I want to be comfortable.
15. Do you text message a lot? Not really.
16. What would you do if you got pregnant? I'd be very confused, haha.
17. Whats your favorite color? The color of the sky about a half hour after sunset. That shifty gray that's almost every color at once... it's beautiful.
18. Heels or flats? Flats. I don't need to be any taller.
19. What's your favorite song? Ooh, so many. But right now it's "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's.
20. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on? Just about every day of my life!
21. Walmart or Target? Eh, I figure they're both corporate giants that use outsourcing and don't treat their employees very well, but I unfortunately still shop at both (minimally, if possible). Target more so, though.
22. Do you wear shirts with colors? yep.
23. Do you like preppy boys? Not really my type. But I could still get along with some as friends.
24. Do you think lip gloss is the best? Carmex, all the way. Or Burt's Bees. However, my Victoria's Secret lip gloss is pretty awesome.
25. Do you own any big sunglasses? Haha, yes. Never thought I would, but they're so ridiculous, they're wonderful!
26. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? About an hour, if I'm slow and eat breakfast. About 20 minutes if I'm rushed. *But* I have been known to get ready in 5. :P
27. Do you like to wear bandaids? Not really...
28. Do you like skater boys? Some, I'm sure... I try not to generalize.
29. Do you often wish there was something you could change? About... the world? My life? My body? Yes.
30. Gold or silver? Silver. Not too fond of gold.
31. Do you like to receive flowers? Never have, but I would love it, yes.
32. Do you like surfer boys? Haha, are we going through all the stereotypical boys? Silly surfer boys, haven't seen many.
33. Do you dress up for the holidays? Not so much.
34. Do you like to wear dresses? Yeah, never have a reason to though.
35. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you? I'd say about a 5.
36. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy? ..... Yes! I think... Sean was at our place Monday night...
37. Would you date a guy shorter than you? Oh, how funny. Yes I would... but I'd prefer not to.
38 Do you like to hold hands? Of course.
39. What is the youngest age in a guy you would date? No high school boys. I'd almost say no college boys either, but that just doesn't seem fair :P
40. What is the oldest you would date? In the 30's, I guess, if he was really right for me.
41. whats the first thing you notice about a guy? His face. Always a favorite.
42. Is it hot when guys sweat? Eh... *hot* physically, duh! But hot? Not really.
43. What is the best personality feature in a boy? Sense of humor. Ability to let stuff go. Supportive.
44. Do you like making eye contact? Sure... It doesn't bother me.
46. Would you kill for chocolate? But why? There's plenty of chocolate in the world!!
47. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy? Not yet.
48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping? About a 2 when it takes too long, nothing fits, I have limited monies and/or lines are super long. But if not, then 10!
49. Do you freak out if you miss your favorite shows?I don't care enough to freak out about most things.
50. Do you yell a lot? At myself, maybe. But never at other people.
51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work? Ah, no. Just seems out of place.
52. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy? Not really. I've always held the stance that if he doesn't like what he sees when I'm being me, then there's no use trying to convince him to like what I'm not.
53. Do you write a lot of mushy love poems? I have in the past, but no more. Emo teenager days are over, my friends!
54.One make up item you cant live without? Um, none.
55. Do you fall in love easily? Depends on who it is. If he's the one for you, it'll be easy to fall for him. If not, it's hard. Pretty simple, really.
56. Do you have cramps? Only once a month. >.<
57. Do you think you have the best friends ever? Oh yes, I love them.
58. Do you consider yourself pretty? I don't really care either way. But I hope I am.
8.08.2007
what am i doing
i keep feeling like something needs to change. this feeling inside me... its like something big is happening but i dont know what it is. ive been going through the days numb, like i need to be brought to life, like i need a breath of fresh air. why does this happen? i dont need to feel suffocated, but its so tempting to just give in to what feels good, and it feels good to be lazy. thats not just it though. i know ive never really been challenged for what i believe, never been questioned about believing in christ, but maybe it needs to happen. it really scares me, but i feel like if i cant stand up for my lord, then i cant do anything, and i need to believe i can do something. i need to believe that i can accomplish what im trying to do, i need to believe that i can be brave. i cant sleepwalk through life. i miss so much, theres so much out there to see but im only one person. i cant do everything right away. i know god leads me, he sends me reminders. i dont want to ignore them. but thats what im doing. by continuing like this im not growing, im not learning about him and the only place i will find satisfaction and fulfillment is through doing that! i know, because when i do it, i feel it. things happen when i trust. but i cant trust the wrong things. there are so many false prophets that ive followed, so many graven images ive worshipped instead of my lord. and its wrong, i know its wrong. "instant gratification". if i buy that it will make me feel happy now. if i eat stuff i know is bad for me ill feel satisfied now. thats what ive been after. i know myself so much better than i ever have before, and god shows me bit by bit. yesterday i realized that i like to flaunt my attraction. if im pursuing a guy (which i shouldnt do anyways), if im dating him, if he shows any interest in me i feel the need to boast about it. like if i dont show off the way all those other couples do, i wont be satisfied in the relationship. and it screws it up every time! i feel like i watch all these other people do it, and now its my turn. but no! with vince, i had to start rushing everything and called him my boyfriend before we'd said hardly anything to each other! maybe if i hadnt pressured him so much we would have gotten to know each other and actually had more fun! with scott, it was just more than i expected, and he misread my boasting. with adam... we never would have gotten together in the first place if i hadnt felt the need to boast about it! he was all i concentrated on for 6 months straight. but what our love was is exactly what i want, what i need. i want to be with someone because i need to be with them. because ill feel incomplete without them. because we both feel the same about each other. at least adam and i had that. of course, the fact that i filled the place god was supposed to be in my life with him wasnt right. discovering this makes my relationship issues make so much more sense. and its super stupid, but hopefully ill learn from it after ive seen what trouble its caused in the past. ive just carried so much around with me these past years... its time to get out of high school mode. its time to grow up. im not a little kid, i cant wait for daddy to come save me and tell me everythings ok. i cant rely on that. all i should be relying on is the love of christ, because that is more than enough. he did it all for me, and he offers his friendship and love... which is so much better than any parent, any friend... of course, he put people in the world to love one another and keep each other going. i love that he did that. but they're only human. they're just as imperfect as i am. i have to trust that the perfect one is the only one i can truly rely on. there is nothing i could possibly do to deserve what's given. and i think im preaching a little bit, but for once, i dont care! i could talk forever about the grace of god, and people have already filled volumes trying to explain it or disprove it. pages and pages of man's writings and still nobody's come up for a logical explanation for god. which is why so many choose not to believe. there's no rhyme or reason to it and they just cant handle that! ive battled with this myself of course, and finally realized that any rationalizations i come up with are still just conceived by me. and i certainly cant measure or measure up to god. *sigh* the fruitless efforts of humanity. and ive lost track of my point, i dont think it really matters anymore. theres so much to talk about; i continue to pray for him to send me someone who i wont screw up. i believe it will happen. just dont know when. and so thats it? the end of a rant and im burnt out? i dont think so. theres no drama here. this is me, people. genuine inner turmoil displayed for all to see. all who wish, of course. i continue to talk and write forever, however long that is for me. but i dont think i can ever force anything on anyone. that, i can say for myself. no matter how much i love god, theres no way i can make anyone else love him. but no more fear! the real reason i believe most everything i do is god! but i dont say that, nooo. i dont want to force it on anyone. i dont think i should ever need to.
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