Hm.

isnt this a nice picture? yes, that's all i wanted to say :)

the crucifix

Lately, well, for the last year or so, ive become very sick of seeing people who don't believe or practice christianity wearing crosses. and this, among other things, is what gives christians a bad name. people see the cross and associate that symbol with jesus and christianity, but then when they see the bearer living his/her life in a way that contradicts christian priniples, they assume a false impression on what christianity really is.

Now, I'm a firm believer in sincerity. If you're going to tell me anything at all about the way you believe or what you think is right, you better be sincere and sure about it. even if you might be wrong, or if i believe you to be wrong, i'll have a whole lot more respect for you if you are completely sure about it. my little sister who can't read will tell me with complete confidence that the lines and scribbles on her paper say her name. and though i see that it doesn't, how can i argue with her when she's so sure? if you are going to believe in something, and i cannot possible convince you otherwise, so be it. i may offer my opinion, but i won't argue, as long as you're sincere. because if you're not, im going to question you.

i can accept what you believe as long as you have a good reason to back it up. and if you tell me you're a christian, but go party every weekend and slander people daily, then im not going to take you very seriously. i know im not perfect, and neither is anyone else, so im not going to judge anyone for being imperfect. i do think its wrong, however, if you try to convince others of your perfection, since we all know its just a mask. if you can admit that you've made a mistake, i have a lot more respect for you than if you try to hold onto your pride. what's the point in lying anyways?

i believe christianity is not a lie. i feel naked if im not wearing my cross, because i feel it represents me and what i believe to be true. it gives me strength and reassurance to know that jesus is always with me, and i think the cross is not only a reminder of that to me, but to anyone else who meets me. it represents what i worship, and i am proud to bear it.

it is discouraging and encouraging at the same time to see so many others wearing crosses. sometimes i look at people wearing the cross and wonder if they truly understand the meaning of it. i feel if they did, they would at least hesitate at some of the actions they practice. and as i said, i can understand imperfection, christians are not perfect. and most of us admit to that. but if you are outspoken against christianity, both in words and actions, why wear something that represents what you are against? i guess it just doesnt make sense to me. and it gives those who are sincere about what they believe a bad name.

i've heard christians slandered a lot, and i think if some of the people doing so really knew what christianity was all about, they would think twice before talking against it. im not the best at explaining things in extent, but i know that being a christian is all about being in love. when you choose god, it's all about love. He's loved you your whole life, and is just waiting for you to love him back. becoming a christian means that you believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead. and what's great about that is, thats all He wants you to do: love him, and believe that He is real. god wants you to choose him, that's why he granted us free will. because only by choosing him will you know how to love him. if He made us involuntarily love him, it wouldn't really be love, because we'd know nothing else.

*sigh* i said i wasnt very good at explaining things. http://www.klove.com can explain it alot better.

think twice the next time you see someone wearing a cross, or the next time you put on your own. it really does mean something to someone, even if it means nothing to you.

Graduation

So... here it comes, ominously over the hill of adolescent life. because, as we all know, graduation is the peak of being a teenager. besides the significant birthdays (usually 13, 16 and 18 and 15 if you're mexican) and getting a drivers license (and a car to go with it), there is nothing else to look forward to but graduating from high school and getting the hell OUT of your parents' house, because the average spoiled brat teenager is perfectly prepared to move out and live on their own. no. this statement is extremely untrue for most, and its annoying to see the "my mommy and daddy buy me an expensive car and a cell phone and new clothes every week and..." kind of person lecture me or their parents for that matter, about letting them handle their own life because they know how to be "independent".

I'm sick of coddled children who havent, in their parents eyes, grown in maturity past grade school. these kids who drive to parties in their new mustangs and drink to pretend they know about life and its difficulties, and smoke to "relax" or feel like you're part of something the cool kids do. but all the cool kids do is because they're messed up in the head, or their parents abused them in some way and they do it to cope, and though that still isnt an excuse, its what they found to get away from their less than perfect life. and when the spoiled average teenager gets ahold of this "cool" stuff and then talks to the "cool" kid like they understand what they're going through..... its just blasphemy. and it doesnt make any sense to me. because neither of these social groups have realized that there really is more than their clothes and cars and cigarettes. maybe if they'd be a little less wrapped up in themselves, they'd realize there's people out there who... *gasp* ...have a much worse life than they do.

Yes, i'm not perfect. but i dont base my life around my car, and my weekends, and my money. and im glad my parents have managed to teach me something about life, even if i didnt listen most of the time. im thankful for everything i have, and i dont need alcohol and drugs and nice stuff to be thankful. im ok just the way i am because god loves me like that.

so anyways.... graduation :) almost over the hill of high school, and what an annoying and big hill it was.

I DONT CARE

i have this love
that never dies
it hears me when i want to cry
i dont care what you think of me
I DONT CARE
leave me alone
to sleep in the hope
i've made in this love
it sees me through
the darkened nights
and obswcurely sunlit days
forever and ever
it never fades
even when you taunt me so
you're the reason i cry, you know
when i want to scream
"i want to die!"
i know you dont hear me
you dont have to
i dont need you to tell me
anymore of these lies
i dont need to listen to you anymore
and i never should have
what you have to give
and what you take away
can't compare to what ive found
in this love.

Imperfection

What I've come to realize these past few months, as my high school life dwindles, is that i am a very imperfect human being. and though ive said this numerous times to myself and others, i never really had the full understanding of this concept until recently. and the road to realization has been rocky.

Imperfection is not something to be scowled at, though i, by no means, am accepting of this all the time. and its tough to realize that you, and everyone else around you, are not perfect. i think this concept has been drilled into the minds of young people: that all should desire this perfection. and of course, one should always strive to be better, but not to the extent that it hurts oneself and those around him/her.

i know people who scorn others for traits they have no control over. people are slandered, disrespected, spit on, cursed at, shouted at, lied about, lied to, gossiped about, and other useless insults. ive seen so much hate in this high school; almost too much to handle. and sometimes i get so frustrated by it all, because i sometimes find myself caught in that trap as well, especially by the fact that there's really nothing i can do about it. and i want to do something. i want to make people see that to be what they want to be, they don't have to put others down. and it hurts me so much to see students judged on a daily basis by those who have no ability or right to judge anything in the first place.

i dont understand, and hardly have the capacity to. i trust in god, and there's not much more i can do. im learning how to do this all the time, and these past couple days, i've been so happy. the joy god gives me in inexplicable. and ive realized, that i dont have to explain it. i dont have to listen to what the rest of the world says, and i dont have to be like them. its taken me awhile, but im finally finding my way. and i wish that for all others as well.