*Sigh*

I hate that that time is over, and yet I see the advantages. I really love those people so much, but it's taken more out of me than it should have, I see now. It was really exhausting to love them. I guess it's not anymore because I'm not confronted with their problems daily. But I don't regret it! I always wanted to know. I wanted to know everything. I figured I had to know just in case I could help. But then I was usually not helpful... I just cared so much about all of them that when they made mistakes I wanted to fix it. I couldn't stand to see anyone of them hurting. It really tore me up inside. It sounds so stupid, but its true. Right now I only see a couple. And I'm so busy now, its almost that I push it to the back of my mind so that I can stay focused. I'll never stop loving them all... it's almost like a curse. But not that I'd want to stop...

I feel like I'm one of those people who gives herself away without question, but very silently so that nobody knows. Sometimes I break and let them know. Maybe its better when I do?... But then... I think it would be better if I didn't care so much. Then maybe I'd save some of myself for God, or for me. I don't know.

Right now, life is good. I'm too busy to worry too much. But I still miss everyone from the house. It really was fun, and we had some great times. I felt the same way when Leslie left Willows, and then left California. We had a good time, and now it's over. I miss it, but realize the necessity of it ending.

Nostalgia's a bitch.